you're the first to know....

jessversteeg.ca is where it's at. I don't know if I will even keep this one online or what... I'll decide later.

But for now: update your RSS feeds, your email subscriptions and favourites, because this one is donezo.

jessversteeg.ca

more on that...

So I've done a lot of thinking about that last post. I'm still following through with it. I have more answers than I did when I first drafted that post, and even more since posting it. But since a few people have texted me/asked me what the deal was - I will clarify.

I'm going to keep blogging.

Just not here, not like this.

I commented on a friends' new blog, where he was excited that he was finally OK with using his real name in it. I get that. The last 10 years of blogging and not really wanting just anyone to read the words I was writing is over. So I will put this blog to sleep and start something that is more suited to where I want to go next in life.

I'm going to keep my recipes because I realize I really enjoy that. It's a fun creative outlet to change recipes to make them sugar-free and I've found it surprisingly helpful to have them stored online somewhere.

I'm going to blog on topics about which I know well or am learning about, not just about me and my life and my emo-ness/complaining all the time.

After having the "What have I done?" commitment-fear after publishing the last post, I do feel quite happy about this choice and I really look forward to the next one. It's time for me to be totally cool with not just friends reading this stuff, but family and even financial supporters (whom previously I dreaded the thought of them reading this because I was fairly confident they would not approve of who I really was because I post things with swear words etc.).

So the next post will be redirecting you to the new website which is still both under construction in my mind and on the internets.

Acceptance

I haven’t been happy with my blog for a long time. I’ve been trying to adjust things, I’ve been trying to figure out what to do with it. A few months ago I rearranged everything, I deleted my food blog and I tried to simplify my life a little. 

A few weeks ago I was reading the ebook You Are A Writer by Jeff Goins. He wrote something that really got under my skin. 

Not too long after the race, I woke up early one morning, drank some coffee, and went for a five-mile run. After that, I wrote a few pages for my book and went to work.  

That evening, I looked back on the day and I was shocked by all I had accomplished. Getting up early, running five miles, writing over a thousand words — where did all this discipline come from?

Those words really agitated me. I stayed up late that night talking with my husband about it. I hated that I didn’t have the discipline to have the discipline to run. I hated that I cared so much what people thought of me. I hated that I wanted to pursue writing, but there were things holding me back and I couldn’t figure it out. That night as we were talking I realized that my personal idol of acceptance, of caring what people thought of me was the biggest problem standing in my way. 

“I don’t want to be this person!” I exclaimed. Willy thought I was concerned with my weight, but that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that I was letting things get in my way from getting what I wanted out of life, from achieving my goals. When I was a teenager I decided that I wanted to accomplish some things in life and I was going to do what I could in my power to make those happen. It’s one thing if Providence moves those things out of the realm of possibility, but at least I could say I did my best with my circumstances. That’s what I want to be about. 

Acknowledging that was freeing. Acknowledging that the little god in my life was caring what people think about me. I can see that little guy behind every problem, every hesitation, every stress. 

Today I woke up before my husband naturally. I read a little of Jeff Goins new ebook and he told the same story about running again. While Willy was still sleeping I grabbed a glass of water, put on shorts and a tshirt and I went running barefoot.

People probably thought I was crazy, but I felt great. And you know what? I’m not embarrassed that it was a 15 minute run, because I’m just a beginner and running barefoot takes a time of transition for your feet and legs to adjust. 

I’m changing and with that, so is my blog. Goins writes this in his ebook Every Writer Needs A Tribe,

 Sometimes, the best thing to do is give up rather than persevere, to stop the insanity of constant failure and try something you have a chance at being the best in the world at…. Quitting is difficult. Quitting requires you to acknowledge that you’re never going to be #1 in the world. At least not at this. So it’s easier just to put it off, not admit it, settle for mediocre. What a waste! I found this to be true with my writing. When I quit one project and started another, I found my voice as a writer and a fan base I could never have dreamed of. Of course, it wasn’t the quitting that did it. It was the starting over. That’s what quitting does — it gives you the space to begin again.

So I think I’m going to quit this blog. I’m going to quit it because I write things in here I don’t want everyone to read. I’m going to quit it because I’m not happy with it. I’m going to quit it because I think I can do better. I’m going to quit it because I like change. jessinhotpink.com is my third blog since I started blogging in 2001 as a 15 year old. Each one followed a certain stage in my life. I think this one is over and if its not, I’m killing it anyways. I’ll let you know more when I know more.

Who are these mysterious Québecois?

So I'm pretty confused.

When I first moved here I was told by people outside of Montreal that Montreal wasn't really all that quebecois. I figured out pretty quickly that Montreal is the Toronto of Ontario: everyone outside of the city loves to hate it and they think the city is way over discussed and thinks too highly of itself.

Ok, I can dig that.

So you could imagine my surprise when I find out that it was really only the city of Montreal that was debilitated by the student strike. ULaval students in Quebec City were back to school and finished their semester no problem. Wasn't the strike a young-quebecois justice issue? I had thought so.

The way people talk -- that is, people from outside Montreal -- Quebec City and the surrounding regions are le vrai Québecois.

So again, you can imagine my surprise when I read this article saying that Pauline Marois, the Partie Quebecois leader was booed in Quebec City today. There's a good chance she'll be Primier by the end of tomorrow, yet citizens of Quebec City generally vote conservative, ie not PQ.

So my question is: who are these "real quebecois"? What does being a "real quebecois" mean, because no one can really agree on a definition. Enough people will agree with Marois to vote for her and probably put her in power, but where are they hiding? Just because she gets into power doesn't mean she represents the majority of quebeckers (as we know from civics class)...

Anyways, this is partially a rant and partially a real honest question that I don't think anyone can answer. Which is annoying because I don't want that crazy lady leading my province thinking that there are tons of people in this province who want to separate and think speaking french will be the saviour of all problems. Also, *ahem* you'll note that my opinions do not represent my employer Power to Change.

Your opinion

I'm still a bit surprised that I'm still working on The Righteousness Project. I never finish things. I barely even start things. I guess I haven't actually completed it until I reach Dec 31, 2012 still doing it. I'm already thinking about what to do when January comes. A big part of me is sad about the idea of it being over, but I don't yet quite know how I could re-vamp it for another year or elongate it somehow. I'm open to ideas/suggestions.

This month I'm looking at the topic of Church. I'm trying to get an understanding of what different people think about their responsibility as church-goers/members for those people who do go to church. I'm also curious what ideas non-church-goers imagine church attendance and participation would/might look like.

Go ahead on over to my poll post and leave your thoughts in the comments.

Strawberry Rhubarb Peach Crisp

Google never seems to fail me. I will think of two ingredients I want to put together like eggplant and risotto (though risotto isn't an ingredient, I realize) and Google will find me a recipe to work with even if it's a bizarre combination I've never heard of, and judging by few recipes I've found - few other people have heard of it either.

The other day I found a can of peaches in my pantry from when I made the Agave Brandy Peach Pie and remembered I had rhubarb to use up. I don't remember what I searched for but I ended up getting a lot of recipes back that were raspberry/peach combo. That didn't suit me since I had strawberries and not raspberries.

Long story short, I decided to put the three together using this recipe from Lauren's Latest. I adjusted it to make it wheat-free and sugar-free.

Strawberry Rhubarb Peach Crisp
Ingredients:
for the cobbler fruit
2 cups fresh strawberries
1 can of peaches strained (796ml/ 28 fl oz) (~2c)
2 cups rhubarb
2 tsp tapioca
1/4c  erythritol
2.5 tsp stevia (NuNaturals MoreFiber)
1/2 lemon, juiced (1-2 tablespoons)
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

for the cobbler topping
3 tablespoons butter, melted
2 tbsp agave
1 tbsp erythritol
1/3 cup spelt flour
2/3 cup rolled oats
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. Lightly grease 9x13 dish or other baking dish and set aside.
3. In a large bowl, mix all ingredients for the cobbler fruit. Pour into prepared baking dish.
4. In a smaller bowl, mix the agave and the erythritol together. Add melted butter and stir until incorporated. Add the cinnamon, oats and then spelt flour. 
5. Sprinkle over fruit. Bake 30-40 minutes or until bubbly and peaches have softened. Remove from oven and serve warm with ice cream.

Depending on how much crumble/crisp you like, this is probably on the low end because the original recipe is meant for a square pan, not a rectangle 9x13 like this. Next time I'll increase the amount of oats etc so that it will go farther. 

At first I thought maybe it was a bit too tart, but we all concluded that it was just right. Sweet and a little sour. I was surprised at how well the peaches worked with everything else!

A (mostly) sugar-free Queenly Salad

I had chicken left over from one of those roast chickens from the grocery store. I knew I needed to make a salad because I haven't had very many vegetables in the last few days.

What was I going to make?

I googled "chicken salad" and quickly found what I was going to make. Chicken fit for a Queen, even.

The recipe I found was a bit confusing. I had to throw out my first attempt since there were two ingredients that were "purée" and it never explains which to do where.

For some reason I kept pronouncing it "pure-e" and not "puray" like the French and now Willy and my younger brother think I'm an idiot.

Anyways. It was so good and we didn't start eating until 8 or so which means I didn't even think to take pictures. But it was good.

This is my sugar-free variation of Rosemary Hume's Coronation Chicken turned into a Salad.

Ingredients

2 c shredded chicken

It looked sortof not really like this. 

1 tbsp oil
small onion finely chopped
1 tsp curry powder
1 tsp tomato purée
1 wineglass red wine (I used white)
¾ wineglass chicken stock
A bay leaf
Salt, 2 small pinches stevia, a touch of pepper
A squeeze of lemon juice
2 tbsp apricot purée (I used PC Blue Label apricot jam)
7 tbsp  mayonnaise
2-3 tbsp lightly whipped cream
1-2 heads of lettuce*

Directions

1. Heat the oil, add onion, cook gently for 3-4 minutes, add curry powder. Cook again for 1-2 minutes.
2. Add tomato purée, wine, water and bay leaf. Bring to boil, add salt, sugar to taste, pepper, and the lemon and lemon juice. Simmer with the pan uncovered for 5-10 minutes.
3. Add the apricot into the mayonnaise. 
4. Strain and cool. I stuck mine into the freezer. Add to the mayonnaise with the apricot purée to taste.
5. Fold the whipped cream into the mayonnaise. 
6. Mix the chicken and the sauce together, add to lettuce and toss. 

* these proportions generously covered two smaller heads of lettuce and fed 3.